Turbo Cancer: Day 89 - September 8, 2022
Turbo Cancer: Day 89 - September 8, 2022
Everything was Experimental
On this day, last year, I wrote:
Good morning. My mom had an ECHO and saw the cardiologist. Things have changed again.
The doctor explained that the swelling in my mom’s legs is not lymphedema. It is edema which has led to hypervolemia - which is excessive fluid production. The extreme fluid production led to fluid retention. This fluid, which has been filling her legs, has reached her lungs and surrounded her heart. Fluid around the heart is congestive heart failure.
The good news is that the doctor thinks it is a moderate amount of fluid, which can be treated with diuretics. We are just waiting for the ECHO results.
Also, her breathing is a little easier.
I spend a good deal of my time wondering.
I wonder why I am writing this. I wonder why I am writing this on Facebook. I wonder why I am sending this out into the world.
There are probably four hundred reasons. I am still not quite sure that I can name them all.
I guess I am doing it because I am doing it.
I suppose that is a form of faith.
It is a story that wants to be told. There is something in me that wants people to know what happened, but it’s too hard to say the words out loud.
On Facebook, I can tell the story. People can read it or not read it. If they don’t want to know, they can scroll right past.
I deeply appreciate the people who read but, for me, the telling is the most important part.
When I think about my mom and her disease, I experience cognitive dissonance. It is hard to settle on one way to feel about it. Writing it down, day by day, gives it some semblance of order.
Hopefully, when the writing is done, it will all make sense. I like it when things make sense.
Maybe there are more people out there, sitting at their computers, trying to put the puzzle together. Maybe my mom’s story will help.
While my mom was sick, I found my voice. I was obsessed with understanding what was happening.
I talked to the doctors, I asked questions, I pushed them to describe things to me. They were, generally, enthusiastic about my interest. They would show me the pictures and numbers on the computer screen and explain their hypotheses in great detail.
They explained their theories. I listened. I asked more questions. I took notes.
Sometimes, the things that they said didn’t make sense.
The doctor at Urgent Care told me that congestive heart failure was heart failure. I looked it up on the internet, and it said the same thing. That kept bringing me back to the same questions:
“How does she have congestive heart failure if her heart is healthy? What is causing the edema? Why, up until now, did everyone think it was lymphedema? What is causing congestive heart failure? Is cancer the cause? Is this a side effect of chemo? If the chemo is working, why are things getting worse? What caused my mom to have three types of cancer, in the first place? Isn’t that incredibly rare? It is as if something happened to her immune system. What happened to her immune system? Like, WTF is going on here?”
They couldn’t, or wouldn’t, answer my questions.
It was all maybes and theories. Everything was experimental. There was no genius TV doctor waltzing in and saving the day.
The doctors did not explain the cause. They prescribed more pills.
My mom was put on a diuretic, to reduce fluid retention.
She had naturally low blood pressure. We had been using salt, to help keep it within a normal range. A side effect of increased salt is fluid retention.
A diuretic reduces salt in the body. When salt was reduced, fluid retention would be reduced, and the swelling would go down. However, diuretics also reduce blood pressure. Since my mom had low blood pressure, this could have been dangerous.
We were to track my mom’s blood pressure hourly. We were to use salty drinks, like Gatorade, if her pressure was low or if she started feeling dizzy or weak.
When her blood pressure was normal, we were to avoid salt, as excessive salt intake causes fluid retention.
That was the treatment.
Take the pill. Check the blood pressure. Avoid the salt. Check the blood pressure. Increase the salt. Check the blood pressure. Decrease the salt. Check the blood pressure. Take the pill…..
We were to give her a pill to reduce the sodium in her system and then replace the sodium with Gatorade.
My mom had to spend another night in the hospital.
Editorial fairy:
>four-hundred reasons, ans I
four hundred reasons, and
>were To give her
'to'
It’s really good to write everything down I wished I had done the same God Bless you stay strong we are praying for you and all of humanity that has been attacked by evil that we have never known in our lifetime I can only imagine how the Jews must have felt when Hitler did the same evils We must not let us be silenced 🙏🙏🙏