Turbo Cancer: Day 141 - October 30, 2022
Turbo Cancer: Day 141 - October 30, 2022
The Helper
On this day, last year, my mom wrote:
Linda came to visit. Poor dear. Had abscess removed and gum surgery, then developed an ulcer of the gum. On antibiotics. Looks like she’s in a lot of pain. 😢
We did, however, have a lovely visit. I am so lucky to have her for a sister. Her spirit, her love and her faith are all wonderful qualities to be around. Grateful for all family and friends.
On this day, last year, I wrote:
My mom has been doing ok since the surgery. The intense pain she had before seems lessened, but she still has surgical pain. She will see Doctor S on Thursday, to start removing staples and to assess the situation.
Since the surgery, the week has been mostly quiet, which is what is needed for healing. Thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes.
On this day, it did seem as if the Lumpy pain had been better, but my mom was still in a lot of pain.
She had pain in her groin. We assumed that this was lingering surgical pain.
She had pain in her leg. We assumed that this was from fluid retention and swelling.
She had pain in her stomach. We assumed that this was from opioid use and constipation.
She had pain in her back. We assumed that this was a result of constipation and immobility.
She had pain in her heart and in her soul. While she, herself, was dying of a terminal illness, her eldest grandson had tortured himself to death, alone, on the other side of the country.
It is amazing that a person living in so much pain could express concern for the pain of another.
My mom never put herself first. She loved her sister. It was very difficult for her to see Aunt Linda suffering, when she couldn’t help. She had always been the helper.
That’s what she said. Once, when I told her that all of her friends and family wanted to do things for her, she replied: “That is all very nice, but I’m supposed to be the helper.”
For her, the hardest part of Turbo Cancer was that she was no longer able to be there for the others. She became the helper who couldn’t help. She could no longer assist her loved ones medically, emotionally or spiritually. She could no longer volunteer for church events or work at the food pantry. People had stopped coming to her when they were experiencing their own hardship and pain.
Turbo cancer took away my mom’s ability to actively help others, but it could not take away the essence of her spirit. She was a carer and, until her last breath, she continued to put the needs of the others ahead of her own.
My mom was attacked. She was the subject of a torturous experiment. She was poked, prodded and cut. She was pulled apart and then sewn back together. She was poisoned - over and over again. She was mangled. She was trapped inside of a dying body.
None of that mattered, because her spirit was strong. The enemy threw everything they had at her, and she refused to be broken. Her kindness remained intact.
They failed: they could not make her into one of them.
They could not destroy her spirit. They could not take away the essence of her being.
In an attempt to destroy our collective spirit, all of humanity was attacked.
They failed. We continue to gain strength. We will never be broken. In the end, we will win.
"but I’m supposed to be the helper."
God has gained one of his most valuable helpers, she sets the example, she is the example!
God is Great!