Turbo Cancer: Day 173 - December 1, 2022
Desiderata
On this day, last year, my mom was on hospice.
During my mom’s illness, we were faced with many choices. I still struggle with some of the poor decisions that we made. I spend time wondering what would have happened, if only….
Starting hospice was the best decision we made throughout the entire ordeal. It had become glaringly obvious that the system had abandoned the concept of compassion. I had been praying for medical professionals with the emotional capacity to view their patients as human beings.
God had answered my prayers. We had three hospice nurses. Melissa managed my mom’s pain medicine. Olivia was there to help keep my mom clean and comfortable. Nurse Anne cared for, and about, my mom in every other possible way.
Shortly after calling Melissa to say that we were ready for hospice, Nurse Anne floated into my mom’s bedroom. She was young, blond, pretty and petite. Looking at her, one wouldn’t have expected to find the strength and fortitude that her job required.
She said hello and then looked around the room. She was calm, quiet and respectful. She took in my mom’s angels, the cross above the door, and the Bible on the bedstand. She paused to read the Desiderata poem, which my mom had mounted on wood and hung on the bedroom wall.
With reverence, nurse Anne said: “I can see, JoAnne, that you are a woman of God”.
My mom, who had been nervous about hospice, visibly relaxed. She replied “Yes. I have been a Catholic all of my life. I am very close to God.”
When Anne learned that my mom had also been a hospice nurse, she said: “I am honored to be caring for one of our own.”
We had needed angels, and then angels arrived. They arrived at the exact right time. Turbo cancer wasn’t quite done yet.
I learned that angels come in many forms. Sometimes, they are strangers who appear out of nowhere. At other times, they are people who have been there all along.
On the first night of hospice, aunt Lenore stayed with my mom. She slept next to her in bed and stroked her head, just as she had done when they were children. When my mom moaned or cried, cousin Lenore was there to hold her hand and to provide comfort. She was there to quiet my mom’s fears and to soothe her back to sleep.
It was as if they had been children again. All night long, sweet baby Jo had her big cousin Lenore watching over her, keeping all of the monsters at bay.
Throughout my life, my mom had had a poem, mounted on wood, hanging on the wall of our house. For her, it was a guide for living. I can still feel her spirit in every word.
Desiderata: Original Text
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
by Max Ehrmann ©1927
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